Intrepid Engine

It’s always strange when a subculture is co-opted for a second by someone who obviously knows nothing about it, and this just happened to Steampunk thanks to the overly-processed tones of fresh-faced Canadian, Justin Bieber. Justin’s latest video is a horrendous rendition of Santa Claus Is Coming To Town, featuring vocals that are weak and autotuned-beyond-recognition, with a generic sped-up R. Kelly backbeat overlaid with some 80s flashback Nerada Michael Walden-esque synths. Sonically, it’s a mess – you can’t dance to it, you can’t really sing to it as the cadence of the song has been screwed up by the RnB rhythm and of course, like Bieber himself, you’re left wondering exactly what its true purpose is.

Which brings me to the video. Set in a Steampunk Santa’s Workshop, and cutting back and forth between the set and clips of an animated movie (looks like Arthur Christmas) Bieber squeals in some dashing attire made by the excellent Skinz N Hydez, while other “helpers” breakdance around him (breakdancing is useful for this kind of stuff, as what the dancers do is separated from the actual beat of the music, so no need to shoehorn some wacky moves to this broken mess). Bieber has a mechanical arm, and appears too weak to close his own hand at the beginning of the video, but eventually he loses that so he can bust some moves of his own, but not too many – have to save some of that energy for drum practice, which also appears inexplicably in this clip.

So the question is, “has Justin Bieber killed Steampunk”? and the answer is no. While the Steamies of the internet may be reeling for few weeks at just how Godawful this cheap and cheerful video is, it’s naught more than a blip in the grand scheme of things. Yet another tacky Christmas bauble that will be put away after the holidays are over and forgotten about probably forever. We all have our Steampunk world to live in, Bieber merely borrowed a suit for the party, and I’m pretty sure we won’t be seeing millions of screaming tweenie imitators rushing out to buy bustles and fascinators. However, if this video does happen to spark some kind of interest in Steampunk in a young kid somewhere, would that be such a bad thing? Subcultures that never attract new members are doomed to die after all.

So, eschewing ado, here’s young Master Bieber himself, being all Steampunky and shit.

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• Justin Bieber Goes Steampunk of the Day (geeks.thedailywh.at)